At work I take leave to scratch my head, I
Joke with the men, and belittle the thoughts
Of pesky philosophers. How could they
That have never done a single days work
Have ever begun to consider life?
We smile, grin at such suppositions,
For we view them as superstitions; to
Grand to truly believe. Yet there I stand
And all at once my friends disappear from
My sights. Oh how could I have not seen you
Standing there, your long hair streaming behind
You in the wind, your eyes clear as the stars;
How long have you been standing there without
So much as a word from your lips? You turn,
And for a moment I have a mind to
Reach out, call your name, seek forgiveness for
My offense; then I am brought back, my mind
Is no longer my own, for I have lost
It in the collective of man's laughter's. They
Look up in amusement, wondering that
I should look confused; for a moment I
Embarrassed with shame and confusion frown
With the uncertainties that come with love.
Then I throw back my head, I smile, and
With my best joke I put them at ease so
That I may escape from their snares. Yet you
turns back again, your hurt now sorrow, in
Pain most bitter you leave my presence. What,
Can I have been so foolish to contend
With working men for attention that I
Should abuse the beliefs of my love? Shall
I sit back in laughter and derision
For the sake of one day's farthing of my
Own contentment? All at once I stand up,
Mind racing, whirling in the tempest of
Regret; they mock, and jostle me, with their sly grins.
As I begin to walk away they reach
Out with claws of iron, pulling me back down
Into the nightmare that waits bellow. The
Ground disappears, the table falls into
The black abyss that has appeared; unto
This black abyss must I go unless help
Arrive, this whirling tempest of hatred,
Derived from my very words. To think, a
Moment before these same words, my friends, were
My life; now seize me by the hand and will
Not relent until I submit to the
Punishment in store. Gasping for fear
That I shall die I look above once more,
Cry out my regret, and with bitter tears
Apologize to the one I love. Yet,
Am I dead already? Could the tempest
So near be deafened by silence so strong?
For a moment convinced of my death I
Lower my head in grief to repeat my
Apology, now said to late But then
I find myself again on the ground, my
Helmet on, and my friends above me; is
That concern in their eyes, proclaimed by their
Words? I search the ground with my hands, clinging
To the mass as though I should fly into
The sky at a moments notice, I set
Myself firmly. Their protests I hear well,
But for fear resist. Then I can tell,
Some new presence is among them; I hear
That voice which I had lost so long ago,
Feel her hand upon my back, her breath I
Disbelieve for fear of disappointment.
Yet in spite of myself I turn, for my
Heart's desire outweighs my fear, convicts
Me so strongly that I must obey, as
The sea obeys the pull of the moon,
So is my will to see that one small boon;
Her smile. Shall I remain firm when she
Beckons to me, as an elephant shall
Never forget? I turn my head from mud
Found here bellow, and gaze upon the sun,
Whereupon I lose all control. She reaches
Out her hand to mine; I respond in kind.
Though fear will always cause me some distress,
I know that Love shall conquer my duress.
Conquer Through Love, (C) Luke Bennette
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