Friday, December 28, 2012

Stuttering Mumbleing Fool

I stutter and mumble, I cannot think.
You wonder and fumble, but then you wink;
Between your ranks, you social friends,
My heart has sank, my life ends.
Inside this circle of trust I sink,
I cannot fulfill what is on the brink
Of my tongue to fulfill, what is on my mind;
My true hearts calling I cannot find.
Within this mire of scalawags
I am tired, my eyes are dark bags.
I stutter and mumble, I understand not.
My heart be made humble, lest I be caught
In the proud man's net, a fool's residence!
The world loudly is set upon my fence,
To jeer and caterwaul, a dirge of rain.
By this my call is submerged in pain.
You who do wonder at what I say,
True friends do not rue this dark sad day;
Since amends may be made without a thought
To one's feelings, at bay is what pride has wrought.
You that consider what a shamble I am,
Do not confuse me with my state, dame
Not my soul with my sorry confusion;
Ought we, whole souls, not in delusion
Pamper not our state of mind with comforting ideals
By ill thoughts? Golden orr we did find in our minds? Zeal's
Web suggests that we be sure of ourselves,
Yet forgets that certainty never dwells
Without faith and believe; that is certitude.
And so I beg of you, I presume to be rude,
And ask each peg leg, be not a broom
That throws dust in the air; a musty room
Is the result of throwing blame and shame around...
Confuse not my state with what's inside to be found.
I stutter and mumble, I rub at my eyes.
I consider this shamble, is my house made of lies?
Is all that I knew but a mumble, a stuttering word?
Was it that I merely drew what I though to have heard?
For such is the state of a man or a woman
That cannot of late discern God's good omen.
I look to the left, and I look to the right,
Out of dark corners, of shadows, comes light...
That is what I hope for, that is where my mind lies...
Waiting for some future decision, my mind denies
The present need for decisive action;
And thus I am denied of my present satisfaction.
I stutter and mumble, do you wink your eye?
Or are you a humble, true friend? Speak or deny!
Let your heart be open to me;
Lest between us be a wide open sea
Of bitter distrust and malicious deceit,
Let each of us to each other our hearts treat
Of honesty and valor, of courage and love;
Of this alone I am certain, love comes from above
While hatred, and anger, and maleficent deeds
Are empty and hallow, from them evil breeds.

My tongue is numb from uncertainty...
Be for me a light, a friend, set me free;

Stuttering, Mumbling Fool (c) Luke Bennette, December 2012

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