A Revelation

We spoke of many things, you and I, there
In that place; and we all begin to try
To understand this confusing affair.
Yet now, I secretly just want to die.
You spoke to me, and made me laugh so hard;
As good as any poet playwright, bard.
While all the rest of what occurred was good
It is ill compared to what we shared; would
That it were simple to speak on this thing,
What new colors to the palate could we bring?
But what is the nature of our love, you and I?
By which I would suffer, and surly die?
Speaking love is speaking pain, imagining
That you speak poetry, or that you sing.

Yet by and by my heart was confused since
It never was given permission, used
Only half longings, desires, a rinse
Of water, or broth the cook ill abused. 
Unsure of the meal he was cooking he
Sought to make sure his ingredients were
Right; yet he foolishly thought he could see
In each recipe he looked upon sure
Answers that simply did not exist. So,
He mixed and matched each one so that it did
Not resemble at all what was meant; O,
Confusion befell him when he lifted up the lid.
And so am I confused, and perplexed; love
Made, like the fashioning of a new glove.

Now speaking to him I catch such a glimpse
That is similar to the one you wear.
Such a glimpse shows me now that ever since
We met he also has loved me; a care
Shoots through my mind, asking if it's the same
To love for loves sake, or sake of the name.
What is love if not tenderized, like a steak?
As cows are made to suffer before the kill
To give them the currency they will make
Upon hitting the counters; they will fill
Their buyers with great satisfaction. Take
Comfort then, I say to myself, that he
And I, and you, share between us a lake
That is deep; steeped in love of eternity. 

Yet still, I wonder, looking to the girl now,
How it is that I can sunder my vow.
For by my life, as I am a man, I
Am sworn to give of myself err I die
To a woman I love: to one who loves me;
Even though that love may never ever be.
A marriage I'm required to undertake,
To uphold, to defend, to never break!
Yet looking back to you I see problems,
For I don't know what I can do! These dens
Of lies that haunt my soul! This company
That drives me up the wall! Don't set me free!
And so I wonder if the love I'm in
Might well be a near occasion of sin.

Last, not least, of borrowed sheen is the name
Given to the one who speaks out her piece;
Sure eyes, a gentle smile, bashful, the same
As I in times of uncertainty. Brief
Was my thought for her in time, yet I thought
Quickly, as though painting a rhyme that ought
To have taken an eternity to
Paint in it's fullness, as a lifelike brew,
As a child from birth until deaths oar breaks
The dock upon which it sets, and so wrecks 
All thought of further details that were meant
To have been, but weren't. In her I see now
That my love for all four is the very same,
My love of another sort is now tame. 

There we were, all five of us, speaking up
Like grown adults, no longer sprouts in back
Yard habitats where parental control
Gave us leave to run, but not through the whole
Of the land where we might fear such attack
From an angry dog, or a mangy pup.
There we were, hand in hand, as friends do stand
Upon the brink of doom without a thought
For turning back upon the others. Ought
I to stay, to remain in this band? Take
For myself a wife, be no common flake
That highs to another town where there are
Better prospects to be found? Loyalty
To one may cost me, I may not be free.

Now I am alone, by myself, my mind
Turns to the darkness inside, and the strife
Begins to show upon my brow; when kind
Words are spoken out of their mouths, a knife
Pierces my soul clean through to the very
Core of my being. Yet strange enough I
Now feel as if I can breathe, the airy
Words that once filled my mind,  that bread of rye
Which I do despise to eat is disposed
Of, and I am able to fill my head
With treasures. But through the hole is proposed
Another thought, one long since repressed. Wed
Your heart to that which gives you joy, and be
What you've wanted for all eternity.

               A Revelation, (c) Luke Bennette, June 2012