Erroneous Behavior

Allow me, if you will, this one tiny
 
Benefit of the doubt; convey to me

Again with either a nod or a shake of your

Head whether what I say is true or false.

In your eyes the best plan for me, your close

Friend, one that you've known for seventeen years

To date, is to sit center stage, middle

of the road, while I wait for who knows

How long, to see a woman I just met,

With the knowledge that she despises me

Revolving in my head, in the hopes that

She might hit me with an automobile,

At the speed of fifty miles an hour; all

For the sake of discovering whether

A supposed idea, no, foolish idea,

That I hold stupidly in the palm of

my heart; hand! you want me to risk my own

Life, for a woman I met over a

Two pence cup of tea?

                                     To say the least, yes.

And if she hits me?

                               She loves you not.

                                                             But,

Supposing she doesn't notice me, clips

Me on the side, mortally wounds me, then

Tells me that she loves me while I die in

Her arms?

                That would be ideal!

I didn't think you had such stuff in you!

                                                Are you

Blooming mad?

                         No, I've passed my spring; now

Like the dainty tortoise I creep along,

Slowly but surely, painfully even.

But would that I were blooming mad. To be

Again in the springtime of love, pulling

Pedals off of young girls, smelling their

Hair, such a wistful thought brings me back to

The bounding hare summers I once had! Back

When the violets adored my eyes, the

Rose my face, and the towering oak tree,

My body; when I couldn't help but take

Notice. Ah, such days! You are very much

Lucky my dear boy!

                                Would that they were gone!

And now to hear springtime dandelions

Moaning away in the middle of a

Brilliant may, the disgrace boy! Why evry

Boy in all of twelve counties would sit right

There, in the middle of that road, just to

Have a chance at answering the question

That you've been probing!

                                         Then let them.

                                                              How now,

Have you lost your nerve? Gotten cold feet? Pah!

How would you feel if the happiest hour

Of your life was suddenly intruded

Upon by the tremulous announcement

That the woman you love, body, heart, mind,

And soul, was to be married in three days?

Exhilarated! And, to show it, I

Would kiss her squarely in the mouth!

                                                            By Jove...

Not Jove my dear boy, by me and for me!

Though I'd thank God for everything else; shh!

Now I hear her car coming round the bend,

You'd better get in place or she'll pass

You by.

          But what good will it do?

                                                  Who knows!

Only you can determine that, after

You've done it! Come on now, chin up my friend.

Do you remember how she glanced your way?

How she pouted when you couldn't stay? Why

She dismissed you like a common rug, her

Cold looks that beckoned your kiss! How she would

Lean and sigh just like this? You owe it to

Yourself to find out what her moping

Was all about! Now go, into the road.

Alright I'll go! I'll go!

                               Don't look so smug! When

You can see the whites of her eyes you'll know,

Whether she loves you; either way you'll know.

Erroneous Behavior, (C) Luke Bennette