Saturday, March 24, 2012

Overcompensating Tyrannosaurus

We've all heard the story. Guy overcompensates for a lack of...well, whatever it may be. In this instance I thought it proper to use the Tyrannosaurus as an example; tiny little arms, the Tyrannosaurus is often known as the most feared dinosaur in the...whatever period he comes from; you can see how bad I am at prehistoric history. Which incidentally, history was a Renaissance invention.

Without any further ado I present to you an excerpt from my play "Sparks of Fire."
A scene concerning the reasons why women are reluctant to vote for a man who might, emphasis on might, pre Vatican II era rules. At least half of them. The other half are either content or their husbands don't act like this.
            Enter FATHER. He sits behind his desk, thousands of
            papers liter his desk and some liter the floor bellow.  
            Enter MOTHER walking directly to the desk.

MOTHER: Melius. 

FATHER: Later. I’m considerably 
Busy Jane, whatever it is can wait.
MOTHER: You will regret that. 

FATHER: Whatever do you mean?

MOTHER: Will you look up at me for one moment?

FATHER: Where do you come off? Margret?!

MOTHER: Yes Melius,
Not Jane; though by your tone of voice you were
Thinking of her.

FATHER: No such thing dear, please, come
And sit down. I’m sorry about the mess.

MOTHER: It’s nothing I don’t contend with at home.

FATHER: Be that as it may I’m sorry. Now then,
Go ahead and talk; you’ll excuse me while
I work, I assume. 

MOTHER: I’d rather you sit.

FATHER: Nonsense, you know I’ve got a deadline dear,
Can’t be sitting on the job while at work.

MOTHER: I had the impression that you impress
Yourself upon that seat every hour
That you’ve worked.

FATHER: Heaven help me, why are you
So upset with me? What have I done now
That I haven’t done for years on end? Why
Now all of the sudden is it wrong for
Me to work while you talk, you know that I
Listen to you, don’t you?

MOTHER: Be as it may,
This conversation will require your
Undivided attention.

FATHER: Why is that?

MOTHER: The sooner you turn around I’ll tell you.

FATHER: If it’s so important you can tell me
Right now while I work, as we’ve done for so
Many years; I"ll not be suddenly told
What to do by my own wife without good cause.

MOTHER: And what about your son?

FATHER: What about him?

MOTHER: Hadn’t you better get back to work?

Work, what about my son? What is it dear?

MOTHER: Why so angry with me, what did I do?

FATHER: Don’t use that patronizing tone, just tell
Me what you’ve heard.

MOTHER: I thought that this
Wasn’t so important, that you couldn’t
Be bothered?

FATHER: Dear, would you please, please, tell me what you mean
When you say “what about my son?"

MOTHER: Why? Have
You reason to suspect he hasn’t been
Following your requests?

FATHER: If you must know,
I recently asked our friends--

MOTHER: Your friends dear,
I would hardly call them mine.

FATHER: I asked them
To keep an eye on Jason.

MOTHER: How much more
Money will you spend to tail our children?

FATHER: I’ve spent good money over the years to
Keep our children out of situations
That could have harmed them for life! Look at James!
I turn my back for two seconds and he
Travels across Europe with that rag tag
Band of miscreants!

MOTHER: He didn’t want that.

FATHER: Didn’t want what?

MOTHER: To be sent to Europe.

FATHER: Some things must be done for our children
That cannot be comprehended by them
Until they’re old enough to understand!
Now will you stop distracting me and tell
Me what you’ve seen?

MOTHER: The same as you dear.
Our son goes out to work and comes back.

He remains out at Jim’s for prolonged hours.

MOTHER: How else was he to gain from them without
Staying the ridiculous hours? How
Else was he to be promoted? How else?!

FATHER: He could have had far more if he’d gone to
Yale! Where I thought to place him! But I
Was to soft, gave in after hearing him
Plead with me for the next two months.
His ridiculous behavior has all
But reduced me to insanity.

You’ve stopped shaving when you should keeping
Face with all of your adoring fans.


MOTHER: It doesn’t matter how I dare; you are
Angry with him for despoiling you of
Your image, admit it!

FATHER: Soon rectified!


FATHER: What did you just say to me?

MOTHER: I said no.
You’ve been wondering why he spends so much
Time at Jim’s after hours?

FATHER: Yes I have.

MOTHER: And now,
We know why.

FATHER: Oh, why?

MOTHER: Our son will soon be a father.

FATHER: Disgraceful mangy little pup!

MOTHER: Arthur--

FATHER: How dare he be so foolish after all
That I’ve taught him, how dare he! Damn him! Oh!

MOTHER: Get a hold of yourself!

FATHER: Excuse me?

MOTHER: You heard me!

This is the thanks I get for thirty years
Of dedication and fidelity?
An insolent wife, insubordinate

MOTHER: Frankly I’m surprised we didn’t
Overthrow tyranny decades ago!

FATHER: Ha! Haa! Haaaa! Haaaaaaaa! Don’t make me laugh Margret.

MOTHER: If you call that laughter.

FATHER: He’s the one, yes?
He’s the one causing all of this, well.


FATHER: My son, causing my entire family
To question my authority, well now!
We’ll change that.

MOTHER: And how, Aurthur, will you change
The Melius Revolution?

FATHER: Simple.
He got involved with some tramp, some whore off
The streets; no matter, she’ll be taken care

MOTHER: And how do you intend to take care
Of our son’s bride to be?

FATHER: Ha! Bride to be?
Don’t make me laugh!

MOTHER: I’ve no such intention.

FATHER: Here it is! One phone call and I’ll find her.

MOTHER: And what do you intend to do to her?

FATHER: What does anyone do when he finds a

MOTHER: Are you so blinded by your post dear,
That you will threaten your son’s true love?


MOTHER: You’d better consider not making
That phone call.

FATHER: Whatever you say dear. Hello--

MOTHER places her hand on the receiver.

MOTHER: Reconsider.

FATHER: Have you lost your mind?


FATHER: Our son has ruined us, stolen our son’s
Obedience; last week Oliver told
Me to go climb a tree! Susan, our daughter,
Told me that I live in the fourteen hundreds!
He’s been talking behind our backs! Taken
The family vote of confidence; you,
A voice of dissent in my house, and, to
Top it all off on an election year!

MOTHER: You should still reconsider.


MOTHER: Do not
Laugh at me Mr. Melius!

FATHER: Get out.
I’ll deal with you at home.

MOTHER:    Guess again.

FATHER: Excuse me?

MOTHER: If you think of calling them--

FATHER: What will you do? Go knit a sock?

MOTHER: No, dear;
But I will leave you. And if you can judge
Your son for a simple mistake without
So much as a tinge of regret perhaps
My decision wont bother you. Perhaps
You’ll merely make jokes about it to your
Friends as you’ve done for years, how I would go
To the corner and knit in order to
Overcome my feelings of abuse! But
If you think that the public will see it
That way, perhaps you’re more delusional
Than I thought! Perhaps you’ll merely shake it
Off as matters of disobedience,
Your foolish wife was exercising her
Free will, following her conscience; Damn you!
I dare you to do it! If only to
Prove my nagging suspicions, prove to me
That you are no longer the man I loved,
Prove it Melius! Prove to me that you
Love your constituency more than you
Love your family, your son; more than me.
I dare you Aurthur; prove it to me....

            FATHER looks at her with shock, dismay in his face. Slowly he puts the
            phone down....

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